Christmas Temple Charity


This Christmas help us raise money for those in need.

Support the Association G.E.A. who provide shelter and hope for women and their children who suffer from physical and psychological abuse.
Tickets are on sale at .......................€5 for 1 ticket......€20 for 5 tickets

Top Prize.............A Fantastic Mini Moto.......................Generously donated by Petra Putz & MotoRoland
We also have our giant Teddy Bear and many other super prizes.
So please buy some tickets for our Annual Christmas Raffle and help us raise money for those in need this Christmas.
Draw takes place on Friday the 23rd of December.

Joke of the Day

Paddy Irish, English and Scots man are having dinner together with their wives when at the table

Paddy Scots man turns to his wife and says "pass the sugar, SUGAR!"

Paddy Irish man turns to his wife and says "pass the honey, HONEY!"

Paddy English  man turns to his wife and says "pass the milk you FAT COW!"

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were reading a newspaper article about which nationalities' brains were for sale for transplant purposes. An Irishman's or a Scotsman's brain could be bought for £500 but an Englishman's brain cost £10,000.
"That proves," said The Englishman, "that Englishmen are much cleverer than Irishmen or Scotsmen."
"No it doesn't," said The Irishman, "it just means that an Englishman's brain has never been used."

A Texan walks into a pub in Galway, Ireland and raises his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He shouts, "I hear you Irish are a bunch of drunken fools. I'll give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back to back."
The room is quiet and no one takes of the Texan's offer.
Paddy Murphy gets up and leaves the bar. Thirty minutes later, he shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder.  "Is your bet still good?" asks Paddy.
The Texan answers, "Yes," and he orders the barman to line up 10 pints of Guinness.
Immediately, Paddy downs all 10 pints of beer, drinking them all back to back.  The other pub patrons cheer and the Texan sits down in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and asks, "If ya don't mind me askin', where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?"
Paddy Murphy replies, "Oh... I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first."

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A Very Templey Christmas

Howdy all folks

Only a few weeks left for Christmas and we all know what that means.............
Madness at the Christmas Market, awkward Christmas parties with your work colleagues and running around in a panic trying to find presents............

But it also means Karaoke Every Saturday!!!!!!!

Joke of the day

Santa was very upset.  It was Christmas Eve and NOTHING was going right!
Mrs. Claus had burned all the mince pies.  The elves were complaining about not getting paid overtime.  The reindeer had been drinking sherry all afternoon and were dead drunk.  And to make matters worse, they had taken the sleigh out for a spin earlier in the day and crashed it into a tree.
Santa was furious.  "I can't believe it!  I've got to deliver millions of presents all over the world in just a few hours and all of my reindeer are drunk, the elves are on strike and I don't even have a Christmas tree!"  He continued,  "I sent that stupid little Christmas fairy out hours ago to find a tree and she isn't back yet!  What am I going to do?"
Just then, the Christmas fairy opened the front door and stepped in from the snowy night, dragging a Christmas tree behind her. She said,  "Yo, fat man!  Where do you want me to stick the tree this year?"
And thus the tradition of fairies on top of the Christmas tree got its start.

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Rugby World Cup Final

Rugby World Cup Final
France v New Zealand
Sun 23rd Oct 10.00am
Live at Temple Bar
3rd Place play off
Wales V Australia
Fri 21st 9.30am

The last games of a great tournament.................some great games.................Wales v Ireland and France.........Samoa v South Africa...................... and now hopefully we'll get a great final and maybe, just maybe the French will turn up to play rugby like they have when they bet the All blacks the last two times they met in the World Cup
France v NZ - RWC 1999 semi final
France v NZ - RWC 2007 quarter final

So plan your Saturday night to allow you to wake up early and join in the great atmosphere at Temple Bar...........Watch as the All Blacks hopefully demolish the French  cause they really don't deserve to be in the final after  losing two games and playing so poorly...............but hey that's the World Cup..... England were totally shite................the little Russian Scrum Half made some great tackles and scored a try against Italy.....................Australia beat South Africa when they should have lost..........Wales hammer Ireland when on paper it should have been the other way around and then they narrowly loose to the French in the Semi final....... so hope to see you all here before Kick Off (10.00am) for the Haka.............which, cause it's against the French and the history between these two, it is definitely going to be one hell of a scary HAKA

So get your predictions in for the Rugby World Cup Final and you could win the Official Ireland Rugby  Jersey........

Just a little reminder, next Friday the 28th of October we will be celebrating the bars 5th Birthday, hopefully see all here to celebrate 5 amazing years together!!!!!!!!!!! Slainte!!!!

Joke of the Day

ATTORNEY:   Are you sexually active?
WITNESS:     No, I just lie there.
ATTORNEY:   This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS:     Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS:     I forget.
ATTORNEY:   You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?
ATTORNEY:  Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo?
WITNESS:    We both do.
ATTORNEY:  Voodoo?
WITNESS:    We do.
ATTORNEY:  You do?
WITNESS:    Yes, voodoo.
ATTORNEY:   Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
WITNESS:     Did you actually pass the bar exam?
ATTORNEY:   The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
WITNESS:     He's twenty, much like your IQ.
ATTORNEY:   Were you present when your picture was taken?
WITNESS:     Are you shitting me?
ATTORNEY:   So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS:     Yes.
ATTORNEY:   And what were you doing at that time?
WITNESS:     Getting laid
ATTORNEY:   She had three children, right?
WITNESS:     Yes.
ATTORNEY:   How many were boys?
WITNESS:     None.
ATTORNEY:   Were there any girls?
WITNESS:     Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?
ATTORNEY:   How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS:     By death.
ATTORNEY:   And by whose death was it terminated?
WITNESS:     Take a guess.
ATTORNEY:   Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS:     He was about medium height and had a beard.
ATTORNEY:   Was this a male or a female?
WITNESS:     Unless the Circus was in town I'm going with male.
ATTORNEY:  Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS:     No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
ATTORNEY:   Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS:     All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight.
ATTORNEY:   ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
WITNESS:     Oral.
ATTORNEY:  Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS:    The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
ATTORNEY:  And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
WITNESS:    If not, he was by the time I finished.
ATTORNEY:  Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
WITNESS:    Are you qualified to ask that question?
ATTORNEY:  Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS:    No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS:    No.
ATTORNEY:  Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS:    No.
ATTORNEY:  So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS:     No.
ATTORNEY:   How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS:     Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
ATTORNEY:   I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
WITNESS:    Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law


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Live Music & Rugby

Phill_reynolds


Summer is over and we still have some nice weather.........makes up for some of the shit days we had during the summer eh!!
And after the great Arthur Guinness Festival we have another night of Live Music this Friday
Phill Reynolds..........an excellent singer songwriter whom we are very happy to have performing here this Friday night............check him out on Youtube


And the Rugby World Cup is now coming into the final stages...........the exciting matches of the knockout stage...........you loose you go home..........
After Ireland's fantastic win against Australia and topping the group after defeating Italy (easy...36 v 6) it sets up three out of four fantastic Quarter finals...........near impossible to predict who is going to win the first three games
All games will be shown live here at Temple Bar.........so get your predictions in for the Ireland V Wales match and you could win a fantastic jersey

Sat 8 Oct 7.00am.......Ireland V Wales
Sat 8 Oct 9.30am.......England V France
Sun 9 Oct 7.00am.......South Africa v Australia
Sun 9 Oct 9.30am.......New Zealand v Argentina


Check us out at
http://www.facebook.com/templebarbolzano

Joke of the Day
A little old lady was walking down the street dragging two large plastic
garbage bags behind her. One of the bags was ripped, and every once in
awhile, a $20 bill fell out onto the sidewalk.

Noticing this, a Policeman stopped her, and said, "Ma'am, there are $20
bills falling Out of that bag."

"Oh, really? Darn it!" said the little old lady. "I'd better go back and
see if I can find them. Thanks for telling me officer.."

"Well, now, not so fast," said the cop. "Where did you get all that
money? You didn't steal it, did you?"

"Oh, no, no", said the old lady. "You see, my back yard is right next to
the football stadium parking lot. On game days, a lot of fans come and
pee
through a knot hole in the fence, right into my flower garden. It used
to really tick me off. Kills the flowers, you know.

Then I thought, 'why not make the best of it?' So, now, on game days, I
stand behind the fence by the knot hole, real quiet, with my hedge
clippers. Every time some guy sticks his pecker through my fence, I
surprise him, Grab hold of it and say, 'O.K., buddy! Give me $20, or off
it comes.'

"Well, that seems only fair," said the cop, laughing. "OK. Good luck!
Oh, by the way, what's in the other bag?"

"Well, you know", said the little old lady, "not everybody pays."

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Arthur's Day Guinness Festival & Rugby World Cup

Ok folks.........get your diary/mobile out..............Plans for next week!!!!!!

In it's third year and hopefully as memerable as ever...........Arthur's Day Guinness Festival Thursday Sept 22nd - Saturday Sept 24th............join your friends at Temple Bar on Thurs 22nd at 17.59..........special prizes on the hour to celebrate 252 years Guinness!!!!!!
And the fantastic lineup for this years festival is............
Thurs 22nd......... Blues & Rock with "The Queen Laurin and Friends"
Fri 23rd ...........50's Rockabilly with "William T & The Black 50's"
Sat 24th..........Soul Classics with......The Homeless Band.........

Rugby World Cup still continues in New Zealand while the rest of the world celebrate Arthur's Day.

Tuesday 9.30 am...........Italy V Russia............Rugby World Cup............don't forget to make your predictions for this match..............you could win a fantastic rugby polo t-shirt......accepted via email/facebook or at the bar

Wednesday 9.30 am...........Tonga V Japan............Rugby World Cup

Thursday 10.00 am...........South Africa V Namibia............Rugby World Cup

Friday 10.30am...........Australia V USA ............Rugby World Cup

Saturday 10.30 am...........New Zealand v France............Rugby World Cup

And don't forget the big Rugger Day...........................Sun Oct 2nd Ireland V Italy 9.30am........(oh and sorry no coffee served).........this will more than likely be the decider for the last Quarter Final place.

Rugby in the morning and Blues, Rock n Roll & Soul at night..........all in one great weekend.......... all at Temple Bar

 

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Rugby World Cup Competition

Click here to download:
rugby.odt (17 KB)
(download)


Temple Bar 2011 Rugby World Cup Competition

The World Cup is due to begin on Friday 9th Sept down in New Zealand..........so that means early rises to watch the games live..........(or just not going to sleep)

To increase the tension amongst all you rugby supporters we have created a simple competition for everybody to participate. It only costs 5 Euros per team

Pick the first two teams and the amount of points scored from each of the four pools, A,B,C,D.
Pick the team that scores the lowest amount of points in the tournament.
Pick the two teams for the Rugby World Cup Final and the most importantly the final score....Simple!!!!

We have an official Ireland Rugby World Cup Jersey, Old Style Classic Rugby Ball, and many other prizes to be given out during the Rugby World Cup

Pool A
Canada, France, Japan, New Zealand, Tonga

Pool B
Argentina, England, Georgia, Romania, Scotland

Pool C
Australia, Ireland, Italy, Russia, USA

Pool D
Fiji, Namibia, Samoa, South Africa, Wales

For more info on the tournament check out our posters for the Rugby World Cup around the bar or check out the official Rugby World Cup website at www.rugbyworldcup.com

Your Team Name.....................................

Please fill in the following boxes with the name of the first two teams and the amount of points scored

Pool A
1
2
Pool B
1
2
Pool C
1
2
Pool D
1
2

Team with lowest points scored
….......................................

World Cup Final Sun 23rd October

….......….....................V.....................................

Rugby World Cup 2007

Pool A
England 108
Tonga 89

Pool B
Fiji 114
Wales 168
Japan 64

Pool C
Italy 85

Pool D
France 188

Rugby World Cup Final 2007
England 6 - 15 South Africa

Rugby World Cup 2003

Pool A
Ireland 141
Pool B
France 204
Fiji 98
Pool C
England 255
Samoa 138
Uruguay 56
Pool D
Wales 132
Tonga 46

Rugby World Cup Final 2003
Australia 17 – 20 England

All entries must be in before the first game Friday 9th September
We will also accept entries via email or facebook

 

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Live Blues Friday Night

We have another Friday night of Live Music with "Freddy Four Fingers & Friends"

It's the start of August and some of you will be preparing to hit the traffic jams for your holidays this week. So why not listen to some Good Auld Blues before you choose your playlist for your ten hour trip to Tuscany
 
Check us out at
http://www.facebook.com/templebarbolzano

Joke of the Day

Joe says to Paddy: "Close your curtains the next time you're shagging
your wife.  The whole street was watching and laughing at you
yesterday."  Paddy says: "Well the joke's on them stupid bastards
because I wasn't even at home yesterday."


Mick walks into Paddy's barn and catches him dancing naked and playing
with himself in front of a tractor..  Mick says, "Oh, no, Paddy, what ya
doing?"  Paddy says,  "Well me and Mary haven't been getting on in the
bedroom lately & the therapist recommended I do something sexy to
attracter.....


The Irish have solved their own fuel problems.  They imported 50
million tonnes of sand from the Arabs and they're going to drill for
their own oil.


Paddy says to Mick - I'm ready for a holiday, only this year I'm going
to do it a bit different. 3 years ago I went to Spain and Mary got
pregnant. 2 years ago I went to Italy and Mary got pregnant. Last year
I went to Majorca and Mary got pregnant.  Mick asks - So what are you
going to do this year?.  Paddy replies, -  I'll take her with me!

Paddy says to Mick,  "Christmas is on a Friday this year".... Mick
says "Let's hope it's not the 13th."


Paddy & Mick find three grenades, so they take them to a police
station.  Mick:  "What if one explodes before we get there?"  Paddy:
"We'll lie and say we only found two."


Paddy's in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.  "Did you find the
shampoo?"  Paddy says, "yes but it's for dry hair and I've just wet
mine."



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The Others........ Live Friday Night

Ok guys...........

do what ever you can for us to have good weather this Friday...................enough of this bloody rain when we have bands playing

We have "The Others"........think of MTV unplugged but doing all your favourite rock songs from The SoundGarden, Pearl Jam, the Beatles etc...

so spread the word............Acoustic night at Temple Bar Friday 29th

 
Joke of the Day

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman were sitting in a bar, drinking and discussing how stupid their wives were.
The Englishman says, "I tell you, my wife is so stupid. Last week she went to the supermarket and bought €300 worth of meat because it was on sale, and we don't even have a freezer to keep it in."
The Scotsman agrees that she sounds pretty thick, but says his wife is thicker. "Just last week, she went out and spent €17,000 on a new car," he laments, "and she doesn't even know how to drive!"
The Irishman nods sagely, and agrees that these two woman sound like they both fell out of the stupid tree and got hit by every branch. However, he still thinks his wife is dumber. "Ah, it kills me every time i think of it," he chuckles. "My wife just left to go on a holiday in Greece. I watched her packing her bag with all her things, and she must have put about 100 condoms in there. And she doesn't even have a penis!"

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Live Music Tonight with " Slow Down"

Slow_down


It's time for a chill night of good Acoustic Music to start the hot weekend

We have Slow Down playing tonight................a mix of blues and rock from Bruce Springsteen, J J Cale to Bob Dylan & the Beatles

So why not chill in our beer garden and enjoy some real cool sounds from a bunch of guys who are ready to entertain

Joke of the Day

A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying "God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa."

The father asked, "Why did you say good-bye grandpa?"

The little girl said, "I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do."

The next day grandpa died.

The father thought it was a strange coincidence.

A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this: "God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy and good-bye grandma."

The next day the grandmother died.

Oh my god, thought the father, this kid is in contact with the other side.

Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say, "God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy."

He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office.

He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.

He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay.

He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there,

drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound.

Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.

When he got home his wife said "I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?"

He said "I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life."

She said "You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning our milkman James dropped dead on our Porch."

Check us out at
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http://www.myspace.com/templebarbolzano

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Live Music Friday Night

Surfbirds


Friday Night Live!!!!!!!

This Friday we have  "THE SURFBIRDS".............Live American Roots & Blues.........not to be missed..................rain or no rain this gig is happening............

Also.....Temple Bar will be closed on Saturday to allow us to join in the celebrations of our friends getting married...................yes we'll be getting drunk

So have a great weekend what ever you do.........maybe see on Sunday for a pint

Joke of the Day
Dirty mind!

Read through and then see answers below:-


1. When I go in I might cause pain. I cause you to spit and ask you not to swallow. I can fill your hole. What am I?

2. A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first. What am I?

3. I'm spread before I'm eaten. Your tongue gets me off. People sometimes like to lick my nuts. What am I?

4. I go in hard. I come out soft. You blow me hard. What am I?

5. All day long it's in and out. I discharge loads from my shaft. Both men and women go down on me. What am I?

6. I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me you feel good. What am I?

7. If I miss, I hit your bush. It's my job to stuff your box. When I come, it's news. What am I?

8. I offer protection. I get the finger ten times. You use your fingers to get me off. What am I?

9. I assist an erection. Sometimes big balls hang from me. I'm called a big swinger. What am I?

10. I'm at least 6 inches long. I leave foamy lubrication when engaged in my job. What am I?

Answers:-

1. a dentist

2. a wedding ring

3. peanut butter

4. chewing gum

5. an elevator

6. a nose

7. a newspaper boy

8. a glove

9. a crane

10. a toothbrush, of course

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